is this glee
having ur period is like ur vagina sending u anon hate
it’s weird how everyone’s house has a special house smell and the family living there doesn’t notice at all but when you first walk in it’s like getting slapped in the nose with some weird brand of laundry detergent what’s up with that
my dad just got a goat
my bed is bedder than yours
girls who are unnecessarily mean and give the excuse of “i’m a bitch that’s just who i am”
halloween
me: *wears all black*
everyone: oh, what are you supposed to be?
me: my soul
*thunder rumbles in the distance*
mama can u take me home im scared
one time i had a waiter that was so hot i forgot what orange juice was called
did i actually save or did i imagine it? better save eleven more times
my dad demanding mints in exchange for a ride home
He probably meant 10 minutes….
Wow! You’re probably right… What am I going to do with all of these mints!?
Plush Toy Turned Out to Be Real Dog
When Wendy Holmes brought a stuffed animal home from her local Toys ‘R’ Us, nothing appeared out of the ordinary.
“It was just a cute stuffed dog,” Holmes tells The Fluffington Post. “It was a Christmas present for my daughter.”
Later that afternoon, her shopping bags started rustling.
“Turns out it was actually an adorable puppy,” Holmes explained. “He must have been sleeping in the bin. Now that I think about it, he did look a little different from the other toys. That must be why I picked him out.”
Via cranberryandvodka.
THIS IS MY FAVORITE STORY IN THE WHOLE WORLD
a true fact about spiders is they can’t run for extended periods of time because they have asthma. all spiders are nerds. even tarantulas. have you ever seen a spider dating a hot babe? i doubt it. spider flashing his cash in the club? nope. spider pulling up beside you at the lights in a lamborghini? never happened. they’ve got so many eyes because they love reading. nerds. all of them.
*stabs u* why??? *whispers* idk im just so random
